As of today, I will regularly embarrass myself for your amusement.

As of today, I will regularly embarrass myself for your amusement.

DISCLAIMER: The following post may be considered offensive or triggering to Mo and the Three Stooges, people who think a bad haircut is the epitome of a first world problem, hair stylists, and the fashion industry.

I'm bored again. Even in Cambodia, I'm bored.

This is good. The best things happen in my life happen when I'm bored. I started Prohibition Bakery when I was bored. I applied for Remote Year when I was bored (and drunk.) I got bangs when I was bored. 

Actually, the bangs didn't go so well, because some random Russian hairdresser named Svetlana turned me into Mo from the Three Stooges (because obviously, I wanted to look like a Vaudeville man who is best known for grunting and impersonating Hitler.) What's particularly irritating about this scenario is that while I made the salon refund me the $10 it cost to turn me into a Stooge, it has cost me well over $200 dollars to fix the Stooge. If salons really held their stylists accountable, they would be required to pay for any damages sustained due to excessive snipping. 

On the other hand, if I was 10 inches taller, 10lbs lighter, and the muse of some androgynous, judgemental designer, I could pull off this look, call it fashion, and make a million dollars. But no, I'm 5'3", meaty, and according to one orthopedic nurse, have the "hips of a woman who has birthed multiple children." These features mean that fashion doesn't apply to me. The word you're actually looking for is tragic. 

**Note to all orthopedic nurses out there: when a 17 year old ballet dancer comes in for a bone scan because she broke both her feet in the span of six months, do not try and compliment her skeleton by telling her she has great childbearing hips.

**Note to all orthopedic nurses out there: when a 17 year old ballet dancer comes in for a bone scan because she broke both her feet in the span of six months, do not try and compliment her skeleton by telling her she has great childbearing hips.

Despite this one tragic side effect of boredom, most of the things I come up with when I'm bored tend to work out all right. I've recently been toying with the idea of publishing something every day. I've been writing every day, but most of the musings in my Google Doc mind dump exist only to make sure I don't forget to remember. While I occasionally come up with a few gems, like, "In Southeast Asia, probiotics are my daily advent calendar," the majority of my writing is day to day details like "and then the guy pulled out his AK-47 because...Thailand."

So, out of boredom, I've decided to follow these mind crumbs until the end of the year. I'll publish five times a week and see where this goes. I didn't think I'd relive the bangs story today, so who knows what else I will uncover! I'll round up every week in my newsletter, so you can pick and choose what you'd like to read (because I know you ain't got time to read more than 300 words a week.) Scroll up to the top of the page, sign up, and we'll go on a grand adventure in which I continually embarrass myself for your amusement. Which is basically what Mo and the Stooges did. Crap, maybe Svetlana was onto something.